The world is too judgemental

We, humans, are judgemental.

Why do I say this?

It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

Why do I think humans are judgemental? I’m going to tell you. And lest you think that I’m saying I am not judgemental, that is far from the truth. I am just as guilty as the next person about being judgemental.

For example: We see a person on a street corner, holding up a sign that says “I have x number of children. I need money for food.” This person may look nice-they may be wearing a nice jacket or the current fashion of ripped jeans or something like that, but we don’t know their story. When I’ve seen people like that, I wonder why they’re on the street, begging drivers for money instead of somewhere, trying to get help. Do I know their story? No. But have I already pre-judged them based on where they are and what I see? Yes, unfortunately, I have. I am not innocent. I’m working on trying to be a better person, trying to understand their back story.

I personally have felt judged a number of times. When I was a new mother and had to go back to work, a neighbor who was not working told me, “I would never put my child into daycare and work! I would stay home.” She didn’t know my story. She assumed that I wanted to go to work every day, putting my child/ren at risk for whatever germs were running rampant in daycares. I heard a lot of things about that from other people too, believe me.

Then, when my kids were older, I was judged for not giving them cars, for not paying for expensive college tuition, that sort of thing. I had a relative jump on me for standing up for one of my children when a social media post they made hit a sour note with the relative. And I have relatives who judge me on my religious beliefs and refuse to speak with me anymore.

For that matter, I’ve lost “friends” because I had different political beliefs than them.

We judge people on their race, their sex, and their sexual orientation. What we see on the outside leads us to judgment as well. We see a “plus-sized” person and immediately think, “They’re lazy!” How do we know? These people may be dieting constantly. They may be exercising as much as they can. Possibly they have mobility issues. It may not be a “lack of motivation” or any of the other things that may come to mind. What if these people legitimately cannot move around due to injuries?

We live in a society that likes to compare itself to others and judge people based on what they see. If you see a person on the street corner, are you looking at that person as they might be a veteran who put their life on the line to defend our country? Do we really know everyone’s story? The quick and easy answer is, no, of course not. That doesn’t stop some people from continuing to be judgmental and rude about them. I’ve been around people who claim they are “just trying to be helpful” but they look down upon me for not living my life exactly as they live theirs. I don’t want to be a cookie-cutter replica of someone else. It’s called individuality for a reason.

My entire point of this is to say that we don’t always know what someone else is going through. Being judgmental and speaking negatively of someone else isn’t really a good thing. If we practice compassion and empathy, we might be better humans. We need to stop looking at someone and saying in our minds or to our companions, “Would you look at that person! What a Bum!” or “How FAT they are!” or “I’m so glad I don’t look like that!!” All of these things, I’m sure everyone has said at some time or another. I am the first to admit that I’ve been judgmental about others. Does it make me a good person? Oh hell no! Am I trying to overcome that? Hell YES.

Try to be nice to your fellow humans. We are all on this Earth. We all have a story nobody else knows. Try reframing your thoughts to reflect “I don’t know their story, but I wonder how I can help?” If you don’t want to help, fine. Don’t. If you do, but you don’t want to, say, give someone on the streetcorner money, then donate to a charitable organization that helps people down on their luck. Donate old clothes, go volunteer at a shelter. Just don’t continue to sit on your mental pedestal and tell yourself that you’re so much better than they are because you aren’t there where they are.

Be a decent person.

It’s not that hard.