Still Striving to improve myself, one board break at a time

Posts tagged ‘goals’

Decision making

I’ve been thinking…a lot. I’ve been thinking about trying to get back into training, only this time on my own. I know that I can push the envelope and get myself into a reasonable facsimile of a martial artist.

I don’t have a true school to work with anymore. I’ve left one school due to a conflict with an instructor. I left another school due to my own insecurity. For the past two years, I’ve not concentrated on anything. I’ve just existed. I have taken Tai Chi, which I loved, but stopped those lessons in February after having to be out for a week with surgery.

I have a “BOB”. I have a garage to work out in. I just lack the motivation to push myself into working out. I have spoken with a friend of mine, who has warned me that trying to train myself is not always a good thing. He’s also made an offer that I’m mulling over. I can work with him–I’ll have to document ALL of my training and I’ll have to make darned sure that I’m following said training. At least once or twice a month, I’ll have to go to Houston to visit and work with him. I’ve forgotten so much more than I let on that frankly, I’m scared. I’m afraid that I’ll let myself down. I have high expectations for myself. I expect perfection. It’s not a good thing to do, but I am honest about it.

So, I’m mulling over the WHEN of when I’m going to start training. I need to keep up training with Alba. I need to push myself into not being lazy about documenting my food in my journal too. I spend entirely too much time saying “I’ll get around to it” and then that “round to it” never comes. I have to get into the frame of mind of DO IT NOW. Period. End of story.

Alba knows about BOB. We’ve talked about using him. I guess I need to get off my but and make myself do what I want to do. I can come home from work, leave the car in the driveway, move BOB out into the middle of the garage and work on kicks, punches, etc. It’s a matter of WHEN.

I also need to give Sa Bu Nim an answer. He’s patient and isn’t pushing me but…I need to continue to THINK. I need to talk to hubby and see what his opinion is.

I’m torn between being lazy and wanting to push myself back into some semblence of shape. I need to decide how important martial arts is to me. I talk to martial artists on a regular basis. I have acquired a good friend who is willing to go out of his way to help me. I need to help myself first.

The mind is a powerful thing. I need to push mine into submission and meditate on what I really want.

Creative writing class completion

Hello! Did you miss me? I’ve been busy with my online schoolwork lately, so haven’t made time for my blog. I’ve learned quite a LOT in the past several weeks. One of the things I’ve learned is that I don’t know as much as I think I know!

I scored a 97% on my final exam, so I’m confident that I made an “A” in the class. It wasn’t about the “A” though, it was about learning to write. I suffer from a lot of negativity, whether it’s real or not. I have to work on my own insecurities and work through them. I cannot spend all my time being afraid to write. That’s what I’ve been up until recently.

It took me almost two weeks to get caught up because I let myself slack off. I had a few days off last week to hang out with my husband for our anniversary (20 years) and I pushed myself to sit down and read my work. Plus, I did the assignments that were in the lessons. Now that I’ve been through one class, I’m thinking that I need to go ahead and attack a couple of other classes. I may have to put myself into an actual SCHOOL setting, not just an online setting. Sure, the online setting is great because I can do it in my own time, but at the same time, the fact that it’s online gives me more time to slack off and not write. Or whatever I’m doing.

I feel pretty good about the piece of writing I started this morning. It’s about my first Martial Arts class. I didn’t let that nasty little voice in my head get to me. I just woke up, went out, played with the puppy and then came in and attacked my work. I feel pretty good about it.

Now that the class is over, I plan on writing in my blog a little more. I plan on setting some goals and accomplishing them. I may even share those goals.

Would you like to come along for the ride?

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