It’s the first Sunday of 2015 and I’m spending it with a slight injury. I managed to strain my back on Friday and felt it yesterday (Saturday), so didn’t do much in the way of physical activity. Today has been pretty much the same-still sore, still hurting and I’m not doing much. It’s some mental downtime. I think I’m going to say it’s needed and move on without beating myself up over it.
Now that 2015 is here, I have a lot to think about. I have a LOT of things I want to accomplish this year. I went back to school actively last year and managed to pick up some decent grades-after agonizing over a lot of things during the semester. I went to school in the summer and took one class. It wasn’t an easy grade. I had to read plays (took drama) and learned that I really didn’t like Hamlet, nor did I care for one of the other plays I read. Can’t even remember the name of it, so it wasn’t memorable at all.
I’m going to commit myself to making public my battle with weight loss and exercise in this forum. I’ve battled weight all my life. I have lived with negative commentary from one of my parents. Because of that, I’ve pretty much integrated the negativity into my own personal thinking. That’s changing this year. I will be 50 in six months. I don’t need that negativity anymore, therefore, I am banishing it from my life. I’m not going to allow negative self talk to take over my life. I just can’t.
That makes a huge difference in working out and trying to lose weight. If you constantly think you aren’t good enough, then you start internalizing it. It becomes how you talk to yourself. Instead of acknowledging that I’m good enough for things, I sit and bemoan my “fate”. It’s my battle and I’m fighting it on a different plane. I’m not going to tell myself that “I can’t.” Instead, I CAN. I WILL. The people who tell me not to bother? Not listening to that either. I am doing this. FOR. ME.