I’ve spent a lot of time being envious of other people’s successes. I haven’t focused on my own. I don’t believe this makes me a bad person, just human. I have decided that it doesn’t matter that there are four million other people in better shape than me out there. I’m trying to join their ranks so I have to learn to be happy with my own successes and even the failures.
I have started and stopped and started exercise routines more times than I care to shake a stick at. I am easily bored, so I stop doing things that bore me. I have forgiven myself this because if I don’t, I’m just reinforcing bad habits, habits that make me resent everyone and their dog. Every person, every human being, has their own unique things that make them “tick”. I haven’t found my thing yet.
I’ve got videos. I’ve got people on the internet who try to remember to push me but they have their own lives and don’t alwasy remember. I can’t count on them to push me if I don’t push myself first. I just have to find that one thing. It’s called being happy and I need to find it myself.
So today, I am giving myself permission to be happy with what I’m doing. I’m not riding that Century I hoped to ride some day. That’s okay. I’m young. I’m not a fifth degree black belt. Again, that’s okay. I forgive myself for the “slip ups” I have daily. I know I’m eating “bad foods”. I know I’m not tracking religiously. I don’t have an exercise journal. I accept that. I also accept that I do track when I remember, I do count my points when I remember and I do try to keep moving.
I joined a Texas community on the Fitbit site since I have a fitbit. I am in friendly competition to get my mileage and steps UP. I have a young lady who has been talking to me and telling me she’s coming after me. I love it! It’s great to have that sort of reinforcement. I’m a desk jockey by day and a couch potato by night, but I don’t have to be. I know I can move more and having this young lady telling me she’s going to get me is just what I need to motivate me to move. I also got a “trophy” today for walking 750 miles since I got my Fitbit (that’s all three incarnations, since I washed one, wore one out and am on my third). THAT is a success and I’m happy about it.
My happiness is going to come from within. I’m happy that I do have a few people who are willing to check on me, to push me and tell me to keep moving. I’m happy that I have lost “Only” 20 pounds. “ONLY” for now. I WILL lose more. I just have to be happy and comfortable in my own skin before it’ll “click.