Still Striving to improve myself, one board break at a time

Finding Happiness

I’ve spent a lot of time being envious of other people’s successes.  I haven’t focused on my own.  I don’t believe this makes me a bad person, just human.  I have decided that it doesn’t matter that there are four million other people in better shape than me out there.  I’m trying to join their ranks so I have to learn to be happy with my own successes and even the failures.

I have started and stopped and started exercise routines more times than I care to shake a stick at.  I am easily bored, so I stop doing things that bore me.  I have forgiven myself this because if I don’t, I’m just reinforcing bad habits, habits that make me resent everyone and their dog.  Every person, every human being, has their own unique things that make them “tick”.  I haven’t found my thing yet.  

I’ve got videos.  I’ve got people on the internet who try to remember to push me but they have their own lives and don’t alwasy remember.  I can’t count on them to push me if I don’t push myself first.  I just have to find that one thing. It’s called being happy and I need to find it myself.

 So today, I am giving myself permission to be happy with what I’m doing.  I’m not riding that Century I hoped to ride some day. That’s okay.  I’m young.  I’m not a fifth degree black belt.  Again, that’s okay.  I forgive myself for the “slip ups” I have daily.  I know I’m eating “bad foods”.  I know I’m not tracking religiously.  I don’t have an exercise journal.  I accept that.  I also accept that I do track when I remember, I do count my points when I remember and I do try to keep moving.

I joined a Texas community on the Fitbit site since I have a fitbit.  I am in friendly competition to get my mileage and steps UP.  I have a young lady who has been talking to me and telling me she’s coming after me.  I love it!  It’s great to have that sort of reinforcement.  I’m a desk jockey by day and a couch potato by night, but I don’t have to be.  I know I can move more and having this young lady telling me she’s going to get me is just what I need to motivate me to move.  I also got a “trophy” today for walking 750 miles since I got my Fitbit (that’s all three incarnations, since I washed one, wore one out and am on my third).  THAT is a success and I’m happy about it.

My happiness is going to come from within.  I’m happy that I do have a few people who are willing to check on me, to push me and tell me to keep moving.  I’m happy that I have lost “Only” 20 pounds.  “ONLY” for now.  I WILL lose more.  I just have to be happy and comfortable in my own skin before it’ll “click.

Comments on: "Finding Happiness" (4)

  1. Meg, If I could give you one thing, it would be the ability to see yourself through my eyes, then you would see how amazing you are.
    I too struggle to be happy with what and who I am, especially this year, disastrous break up from someone who I thought was perfect, the loss of three friends, serious illness and loss of income, even loss of a job I loved, but I have, like you, decided to just enjoy what I have at that moment. I’m nowhere near where I want to be at my age, I feel as though I’m starting again, but is that such a bad thing? maybe I was on the wrong path for me, maybe I needed a shake up to stop me blindly accepting, maybe I just need to stop and breathe. I envy you all you have, I envy your strength, i envy your determination…. so maybe thats a lesson for us all, just to live in the moment and not worry too much about the shoulds and should nots. I’m coming after you Meg Nico 😉 Love you xx

  2. “Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson

    Honesty with ourselves and acceptance of ourselves. I believe you are on the right path.

    You may start 65 diet and exercise programs in your life. But you know what? You might never find the right one. That is, until you get really honest with yourself and realize that the work needed is internal, not external. So set your sights on a time when you’re living fully into your life, and then go from there—making that reality present a little more every day.

    I admire your strength and the fact that, despite the ups and downs, you continue to strive to meet your personal goals. I think you can be too hard on yourself at times, when you really need to give yourself a pat on the back and recognize how far you’ve come.

  3. One of these days, you’ll realize that the only person’s opinion of you that matters is yours!

  4. Hey dear Meg!
    I recognize a lot from what you say. You know, even if we think that other people have perfect lives… often they don’t have it all either. It just looks like that from the surface.
    And it’s hard to love & accept yourself, maybe one of the toughest things in life. Me to, I struggle with that. At times (when feeling well) I am more accepting and going with the flow and living in the moment. At other times (when in a low – I suffer from depression) I am not capable of living life…
    You are right… it has to come from within, but don’t be too hard on yourself if at times it doesn’t work that way. Be patient. Baby steps. We will get there, eventually 😉
    Life is not easy but there are plenty of happy moments and we need to focus on those. In order to survive! And you’re not alone. Please know there are friends around you who struggle as well: we’re in this together.
    X

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