Still Striving to improve myself, one board break at a time


Work has been reaching out and grabbing me by the throat more than I care to admit to these days. I have been busy with my normal job of answering the phones, but then again, I have other duties I’m supposed to keep up with. I am supposed to help my manager monitor the phones and make sure calls are being handled properly. I write check lists for our machines to be used during installations. I also file installations calls (after scanning and indexing them) to our file server. Pretty much, I do a lot of things. I am human and I DO make mistakes.

Unfortunately, because I DO make mistakes, and because I’ve been at the company for over twenty years (this is #21), it’s easy for other people to watch what I do and try to catch me making mistakes. I hate having my mistakes pointed out almost as much as I hate asking for help since I feel that the specialists expect me to know the things I’m asking about. When I make a mistake, inevitably, one of the men in the department catch it.

Last week was no exception. I took a number for a customer on *Monday*. I told the guy I’d look into it and call him back. We got busy and I promptly put it out of my mind and went about my business, taking calls. On Friday, one of the guys came over and told me, “this person has been waiting for you to call him back for over a week.” I looked at it and bristled, because it was from the 14th. (He brought the call over on the 18th). I told him, “I screwed up. I’ll call now” and I did. Unfortunately, because I had forgotten about it, the person who brought over the call immediately decided that HE would take over the research I hadn’t gotten time to do. He promptly signed off and went to town. For over an hour, he was off the phone, researching this issue. I had, in the meantime, called the customer (he indicated that he was going on vacation for a week so now there was no rush.). I told him I’d look into it, and was all set to find a specialist, until I heard the other guy talking with one of them. I waited. Then I heard the first guy calling my customer and talking *very loudly* in the cube next to mine about how HE resolved the problem. I wasn’t told the resolution. All I was told, in the very beginning, was how I didn’t call someone back.

I won’t go into the “but HE does this or that.” There is a bit of that, but I won’t point it out. I have to just remember that my faults are my own, NOT anyone else’s. Apparently, there is also a problem with me giving my name out to customers when I answer the phone. I answer with my company name, “my name is so and so, may I have your model and serial number please?” That was the script we were told to answer with. I do that. I make sure I play by the rules. I answer with my name and remind the customer that “if you have any further questions, my name is this”. The guy I was chewed out by walked off one day, mumbling that I shouldn’t give my name out if I wasn’t going to take calls when the customers ask for me.

I was so stressed out by the end of the week that my back, which has been fine up until now, was acting up. I’ve also been having “nap attacks” at home–where I can be sitting on my couch, watching television or playing on the computer and will just fall asleep at the drop of a hat. I don’t like feeling like I’m not getting enough sleep. I sleep for about 7-8 hours a night and all of a sudden, I’m asleep in front of my television. I’m currently sitting here, fighting off a headache. I’m NOT pleased about that. I haven’t figured out what is happening but it’s driving me nuts. I’m on the verge of going out the door, screaming.

My manager called me into his office because he heard on Friday that I was angry. I’m beyond angry now. I’m sad that my co-workers feel the need to find fault with my job. I’m sorry I’m not into the grand fellowship of manhood (as I’m the only woman, it makes it hard to be so). I work hard and take pride in my work. Unfortunately, I also make mistakes because, as I said, I’m human. I am FAR from perfect and won’t claim to be otherwise.

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