I’ve had a lot of time to think as I’m driving to and from work, both in the morning after dropping my oldest off at school and in the evening on the way home. I think as I’m singing or listening to music or words or something. It’s an essential part of who I am. I like to think. Sometimes I overthink things, but that’s just another facet of my personality.
The other day, there was a discussion about stress between my director and myself. We discussed the fact that I feel highly stressed a lot of the time at work. He said that it was his observation that that was just me and my personality, how I want things to be perfect and place a high emphasis on things. I’ve been thinking about that as it relates to my martial arts because if I’m getting stressed out at work because work is not perfect, what sort of an onus am I putting on my martial arts? Am I putting so much stress on myself that I’m slowly murdering my spirit?
In order to be a success at anything one sets out to do, they must exhibit a strong desire to do it. My desire is to improve myself, both mentally and physically. If it means I have to re-think the way I’m behaving, if I’m abusing my spirit, then I need to examine my motives and see what I can do to improve that. I don’t want to carry around an invisible lead overcoat, dragging myself down and keeping me from achieving my goals.
A good friend or two have told me, in no uncertain terms, to “get over myself”. The really funny thing is, I can agree with them. I am hurting myself as a person every time I cop an attitude, every time I let my own ideas of what things have to be like get in my way.